Something to Lose Before Something to Gain cont!
by Shien Shao
Summary: Kagome loses her family to a fire, and turns badass! She becomes the leader of a notorious gang..and then what happens? A story of betrayal, new beginnings, and especially kicking butt and taking names. This is a continuation of a story from Subdued Truth
1. A New Beginning: did it have to be pink?

Yes, you read correctly! Previously, I was Subdued Truth. I am now Shien Shao. It is really me! Newcomers to this story, the previous chapters can be found in the first part of the story, plain old Something to Lose before Something to Gain. I encourage you to read those chapters, and then review on this one. For the people who waited for me, I am back now. Hurrah!

Wow….I'm really sorry. Time just slipped past me, and I forgot the password to the Subdued Truth account and the password to the email account I was using for that pen name.

But Jeez! I sat and watched with tears of joy as the reviews piled up, even past 100! I'm so happy, and flattered. You guys are so great! Even on a day where nothing has gone right, I come home and read all the reviews again, and I feel so happy.

I just want to truly thank everyone who reviewed! My new year's resolution to myself was to try my hardest to make this story the best that it can be for you guys: )

I'm trying to get the mailing list back together, but you guys are going to have to re-help me with it this time. Thx.

And now for the long awaited phrase....

Onward! (p.s., you might want to reread the last chapter to lock in the freshness)

"FUCK!!"

Her very most favorite word spouted from her mouth without thinking.

Eyes closed, she rolled over, until her cheek was pressed against the pitted surface of the ashy road.

Kagome's head pounded worse than the result of a week's worth of partying with a troupe of mountain dwarves, and that was SAYING something.

"Jesus fucking CHRIST my head hurts!"

She opened her eyes, and sat up. Slowly, the world righted itself from its twisted position.

'Where the fuck am I?'

She looked around her, at the dusty, bare streets.

And she was alone.

Kagome was in a daze, as she tried desperately to regain her memory. Okay, walking, walking, cop chase, Inuyasha, Kouga, home, darkness...but where are Kouga and Inuyasha. She distinctly remembered the both of them running towards her at breakneck speed.

Glancing around entirely, they were gone...

Hold on!

Suddenly she noticed that she had not woken up in the same place as she had fallen. In fact, it looked surprisingly similar like the intersection with the doughnut shop, and the cops, and the birth of this week's trouble.

'Wow..' she thought dumbly. 'What happened?'

Some ways behind her, she spotted the very golden corvette she had made her escape in.

But that just wasn't possible, was it?

Not knowing what she would do, she exhaled heavily and did the only thing she could do in these types of situations—which I can tell you, needless to say, doesn't really happen often.

Kagome nodded and reached into a deeper pocket of her leather jacket to find a cigarette, but she froze in shock and disbelief.

She wasn't wearing her leather jacket. It was something that felt horribly like suede.

She looked down at what she was holding, and her eyes widened. It was suede. It was brown.

It was not hers!

Carefully, she inspected herself further. She wished afterwards that she hadn't.

She sported a tight red halter top, tight hip-hugger jeans, and pointy black high-heeled boots.

Her hair was gone!

Oh wait, no it wasn't.

She reached her hand behind her head, and found that her unusually long hair had been tied back with a ribbon; god knows what color it might be.

She was extremely surprised by what she found, not that anything else about her situation had given her a slight reason to be alarmed. Her hair was soft, and actually ductile.

You'll notice that the word 'ductile' does not show up in this story very often, because it is an adjective used to describe the bendability of metallic substances. So you may ask yourself, fine reader, why do I use it to describe her hair? Come on! Just look at her hair before, a tangle of grease and rats' nests the size of your fist...it practically screamed for the term.

Anyways, her hair was actually soft, actually silky.

The only time she managed to keep her hair this nice was before the fire. It was long enough so that she could take it with her hand and look at it with her own eyes. Dark, shiny, and with...highlights?

She knew something was drastically wrong, and she knew that what she was looking at just couldn't be her.

So, just to ease her curiosity, she dragged herself up and over to a shop window.

An expertly make-upped face stared back at her in shock.

A beautiful face.

Her face.

Tilting her head to glance at her hair, she spotted the color of the ribbon tying it together.

Alas, for great woe, the ribbon was pink.

"Damn."

Before Kagome could stare at her reflection more intensely--for the desire to do so was usually absent--she heard the only sound since her awakening.

She didn't feel fear (Duh! Sid we're talking about!), she didn't feel panic, or anguish, or despair. She just wanted to know what was going on.

Her ears pricked at the sound of small feet scuffling towards her, and she glanced that way.

Her heart caught in her throat, and she could almost sob.

It was Shippo. But...he was...different. She had never seen him look so small. He looked maybe around six or seven.

Kagome waited confusedly until Shippo made his way towards her.

So cute!

Acutely, she noticed tiny things about him that definitely said he was different. He walked straighter, his head was up, and his wobbling gate had been replaced with a lordly stride.

By the time he had made his way over to her, she could tell this wasn't her loveable little pal. Besides, how old was Shippo now? Fourteen, maybe fifteen?

"You're not Shippo." She blurted out bluntly.

Who ever it was smiled and shook his head softly.

"Then who are you?"

He used Shippo's image to project a childish, and absolutely adorable grin.

"I came to you in this form so as not to frighten you."

Kagome snorted decadently. 'As if I still had fear left inside of this rotten hole...'

"What's going on around here?"

His keen little green eyes peered at her. "Do you recognize where you are?"

She nodded. "Yeah...I'm where I was before the police chased me, but how?"

"I cannot answer that just yet."

'Fat lot of help you are.'

"You shouldn't speak that way to someone who gave you a second chance."

That, needless to say, caused Kagome's eyebrows to erupt upward into her hairline, but they soon shot down and settled into a frown.

"A second chance huh? Well where were you with your second chances when my entire family was taken from me? Why didn't I get a second chance then, when it really mattered?"

Shippo's head hung low.

"I'm afraid that could not be helped."

Kagome rolled her eyes.

"So what am I supposed to do now? What happened to Inuyasha and everyone else?"

Shippo met her gaze with his own piercing one.

"In order to save you, we had to take you back as far as this point in time."

We?

"Just what is this we business?"

As always, Kagome was defiant and individualistic, fearless and stubborn, and if I do say so myself, quite rude.

Shippo waved the question away like a mosquito, and Kagome's nose wrinkled at the gesture. She was curious that her question had gone unanswered, sort-of.

"Well what ever happened to Inuyasha and Kouga? Why did the lights go out, and then someone flash their brights at me? Christ that was annoying!"

(Always has a sunny outlook on life, doesn't she? Yes, I'm quite proud of her m'self: )

Shippo ignored her sarcastic comment.

"As for Inuyasha, you never met him. You were never in that police chase, you never spoke to Kouga, and you never...died."

Her jaw dropped. "I died? How did I die? Was that the darkness or the light?"

"Yes, you did die. You were quite lucky though. It seems, that through a slight mistake, you might have been dropped in hell—"At this comment, he made an annoyed face to the empty sky above him. "—But we caught it just in time. Yes, you died. The sudden strain of emotions struck a blow to your already weakened heart. Technically, an artery exploded at the base of your skull, plunging you into a coma, where you then went into cardiac arrest...but, ah, technicalities are so darn confusing. It's much easier to simply say you had a weak heart."

She stared at him blankly. 'No wonder why my head hurt so much.'

"Is that why I could hear something like water rushing?"

Shippo gave her an incredulous look. "Morbid aren't we. Stop thinking about death, you are alive."

"Why didn't I just die? Why couldn't you have let me be with my family again?"

"Your destiny in this life has not been fulfilled, we made a mistake, so you were...reborn, in a sense."

"Hmm"

Kagome glanced around her. Everything had been frozen. Time must have stopped. The birds were in the air, still as death, even the corvette's exhaust was behind it in a stagnant cloud.

Everything was gray, and she was tired.

"Reborn? Is my name still Kagome?"

"If you like, it makes no difference."

'If I've been 'reborn'...'

"Then why did you make me look like....THIS?!"

She motioned with her hands the clothes, hair, and make-up that she had so recently acquired.

Shippo sighed. "Did you learn nothing? The police recognized you as you walked past. Do you want that to happen again?"

Kagome pondered it, and it made some sense.

"Then, what am I supposed to do now?"

"What you were meant to do."

Shippo reached into the pocket of his furry vest, and pulled out a necklace, with a pendant the size of a large gumball, shining in the color of her abhorrence (pink).

It was all tingly in her brain, but she supposed things were making more sense.

Reluctantly, she took the necklace from Shippo, and placed it around her neck, instantly feeling the weight of twenty pounds being added to drag her neck downward.

Shippo answered her unasked question.

"The Shikon Jewel is weighted down with all the bad, erm, decisions you have made in your lifetime. By the look of the shape of your neck, there seems to have been quite a few. The more good you do, the lighter it will get. The more bad you do, there could be terrible consequences. No one can see it but you. Remember Kagome, fate has smiled upon you today. She has given you an incredible gift. Do not waste it, for it was not wasted on you. Take care of yourself and others, it is your job now."

As Kagome had been staring at the jewel, Shippo's voice had gotten steadily fainter and fainter, until, when she looked up, he was gone.

"What the hell am I supposed to do now?"

A slight tugging at her neck brought her attention to the jewel.

'What if I don't want to be good? I'll just take it off.' She thought smugly.

She slipped her hand underneath a few of the beads, and proceeded to lift off the necklace, when she stopped.

It wouldn't budge.

Suddenly, she noticed that the string had shrunk to the size of a choker.

'I'll just break it then.'

No luck there. The string had 'magically' become 20 gauge wire. There was no way she could cut it without a pair of wire cutters, and, unfortunately, she was lacking a pair.

She frowned.

"Fucking weak, you guys. I guess you thought of everything. Could you at least make it a little looser?"

The wire loosened a bit, but still not enough to slip it off of her head.

"Fine! I can take a hint."

Now what was she to do? The weight of the jewel didn't bother her as much as the spiky boots did. She had tough enough feet, so she decided she could do without them.

There he sat, in this tiny room, with only whirring and whizzing for company. He was, of course, in the shac. He had been watching the monitors for days and days, and he didn't even know why. He just felt compelled to.

Kouga was gazing into space, almost ready to doze off, when he spotted a flicker of life on one of the westward screens.

Curiously he watched a beautiful girl, as she frowned, trying desperately to yank off the high-heeled boots she was wearing. She met with success, and triumphantly swung them into the nearest trash bin.

He chuckled quietly.

This town was dirty, dead, and gray. What would a flower like her be doing in this sort of place? She was certainly a diamond in the rough.

He was even more surprised when she walked freely towards the building.

'She must be mad, or she has a purpose...'

Kouga then began to wonder if someone had sent her, someone like Naraku...

He had to be prepared, even though she looked harmless. He had heard recently that Naraku had been gathering up demons from the streets who were thirsty for domination. Lowly, insignificant demons, but demons nonetheless.

"Shippo!" He bellowed loudly up the stairs.

A frustrated and muffled "What!?" sounded from above.

"I think we may have some trouble."

"Kaay!"

Kouga turned to face the monitors again, and inhaled deeply.

"Ahh..muuch better!" Kagome exclaimed after she had discarded herself of those hideous shoes. She was more than happy walk barefoot—the soles of her feet were like leather anyway.

"Now..here goes..."

With nerves of steel, she set herself in the direction straight past the two chattering cops.

One step, two steps, three...she had almost passed them—

"Hey girlie!"

Kagome froze, and her entire body stiffened. At that moment, she tried very hard not to scream, and kept her head straight in front of her.

Trying the best she could, she feigned a breathy, high-pitched school-girl voice (which was not easy for her, believe you me).

"Yes officer?"

There was a pause.

"Why ain'cha wearin' shoes? Don't want a sweet thing like you ruinin' those pretty feet, do we?"

She ground her teeth together. If only... This guy was really asking for a pop in the jaw.

She hated doing this.

"No, officer. I was just on my way to the shoe store."

"Well okay"

She mouthed the foulest words she could think of, and aimed all her negative energy at the cop, hoping to drown him in it.

Abruptly, the jewel tugged her neck down, getting just a little bit heavier.

'Come on!!! I didn't DO anything!'

A faint voice echoed inside her head.

'A warning is a warning.'

'Bitch'

The jewel sagged down the slightest bit.

'What was that for?'

'Harassing a higher being'

Kagome frowned in exasperation.

She'd better take this more seriously, if she didn't want her neck broken.

She decided to just forget about all of it and keep going where she was going. To her relief, the cop struck up conversation with his fellow again, this time regaling him of the time he had tackled a crimelord with just one arm.

Kagome rolled her eyes. Cops these days, eh?

But, to her immense relief, she was free.

Finally, she could do want she had been wanting to do for years.

Come home.

The thought stirred up something deep inside her, some vague emotion forgotten to her memory.

Yes! I rewrote this chapter many times, searching for the right words.

I looked at all my reviews, and found that nearly half had been asking the question of "WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED IN THE LAST CHAPTER???!!!!!"

I had an original idea for the story, but it didn't fit, it was becoming tedious and tiresome, and I just couldn't make anything to follow. So, too lazy to rewrite the story, I did the next best thing! She went back in time, and none of that crap in the last chapter ever 'technically' happened. Technicalities can be a good thing.

So again, I wanted to thank you all for the interest in my story.

I can tell you now that we're in this for the long haul, and this story has many, many chapters that need to be created before we reach the end of our splendid journey.

Farewell my little kinkajous! (if you don't know what a kinkajou is, I suggest you look it up. You are on the internet after all ; )


	2. But she was pretty

Hm...It seems my habit of waiting until forever to update has not left me...Hehe..sorry guys.

Sooo, where did we leave off? Ah yes! Kagome died, almost went to hell, ended up in heaven, and then was sent back to earth, all cleaned up and stuff. A mystical dude in the form of Shippo gave her a jewel, a symbol of all her good and bad deeds. The only way to live free of her mistakes is to right all of her wrongs, and to put a stop to all her trouble-making.

Did I leave anything out? No? If you're confused, email me.

Hoo-ah! Let's do this thing.

* * *

If any one in particular happened to glance out the window at that moment, they would have noticed a beautiful, but shoeless girl walking purposefully down the sidewalk.

How strange!

But, as it happens these days, looking out the window might land someone in unwanted trouble, so people wisely decided to keep to themselves.

The only person who happened to see this silly barefooted girl was a man-boy with long brown hair and crafty blue eyes.

* * *

Kagome heaved a huge sigh. So not only was she wearing happy colors for the first time in years, she also had been given the huge burden of correcting all her earthly mistakes.

Considering all her wrongdoings, this was going to be one helluva task.

"So what, now I'm on this 'Holy Mission'? What a load of shit! Who do they think I am? Mother Theresa??"

She snorted. If she really wanted to remove this stupid jewel from around her neck, she might as well pack up and move to Calcutta, tending the sick and injured for the rest of her miserable life.

A voice that was not her own chuckled inside her head.

'That might not be such a bad idea, but it is not your destiny'

Arg! Kagome scrunched up her face in annoyance, and shouted at the sky.

"Well what the hell is? Why don't you just tell me, so I can get this gig over with? Huh?! Mr-divine-know-it-all-being!!"

There was no answer. Kagome rubbed her head angrily. Whatever she was supposed to do in this world, she wasn't going to get any help.

Boredly, she counted up all the good deeds that were in her power. As mentioned, tending the ill. Uck! Ew no. Sid did not have any patience what-so-ever for the weak.

What else could she do? Steal from the rich and give to the poor? Mm..no. If the dudes upstairs were serious, stealing is stealing, and stealing is bad.

Another sigh.

First above all others, Kagome wanted to put right the disaster between her and the Black Death.

She was itching to rip off her ugly clothing, rather than have her gang see her like this, but going au naturale didn't appeal very much to her as an alternative.

She squared her shoulders, and for what literally seemed like the twentieth time, approached her doom.

* * *

Shippo and Kouga both watched a girl with no shoes slowly walk towards their ramshackle apartment building.

"Who is she?" Shippo asked, overflowing with curiosity.

Kouga shook is head thoughtfully. "I don't know...she might be one of Naraku's spies. I know he's got plenty of pretty girls working for him."

Shippo grinned toothily. "So you think she's pretty eh?"

Without taking his eyes from one of the screens, Kouga slammed his elbow into the younger boy's cheek, knocking him right out of the chair he occupied. Shippo scowled at him and reclaimed his seat.

"What was THAT for?!" He huffed.

"She reminds me of someone, that's all."

A few more seconds went by, and then they were certain she was just going to come right up and knock on their front door.

Kouga grunted and started to exit the room.

"Lemme go see what she wants."

Shippo frowned curiously as the girl looked up and started to talk to herself, or someone else, who obviously wasn't there.

"Kouga wait!"

From his first step into the hallway, Kouga spun his head toward Shippo, wary of danger.

"Be careful, she might be nuts..."

The older man-boy rolled his eyes, and ran quickly down to the front entrance.

* * *

Deep breath in, deep breath out.

Kagome was extremely nervous about knocking on the ugly yet fortified front doors.

Granted, she already _had_ knocked, and already _talked_ to Kouga...or no. I suppose she hadn't. But if the "first" time had went well, who's to say history wouldn't repeat itself?

And there she stood, for what must've felt like hours, counting all the cracks and bullet holes riddling the door's surface. At last, she raised her arm, poised to lift the heavy brass knocker...

..And fwoosh! With the same speed of a door being slammed, the one before her opened. (Does it make a "fwoosh" sound? Maybe a creak is more accurate. I don't know, go try it yourself you silly person!)

Startled, Kagome withdrew her hand. In place of the door, a pair of blue eyes, wreathed in shadows, glared back at her.

She was a breath away from shouting that she almost had a heart attack, but luckily, she remembered herself and her situation.

It was Kouga she was now staring at. The boy she had most tragically fallen for. For so long, she was anticipating this conversation, and now that she was here, she was utterly speechless.

However, before she could say anything, the eyes narrowed.

"What?" He demanded, and rather rudely I might add.

Kagome's eyes widened and her jaw clenched. Was she really expecting to be welcomed back with open arms?

He spoke again. "Who are you? One of Naraku's spies maybe?"

'Are you fucking serious??!! He doesn't recognize me??'

"No, I.."

"You what?" He blurted out impatiently. We aren't looking to get screwed over again by that ugly son of a bitch. I've lost enough people to him already, so if that's why you're here, you can just turn your pretty little ass back on home!"

She was incredulous. He really didn't recognize her! Is it because she was wearing different clothing? Maybe the make-up? But honestly, if she was so important to him before, how could he not remember her??

Oh, but wait! The false Shippo said she went back in time. But that didn't make sense either. She didn't go back far enough to not have ever met him.

'This is crazy!'

She blushed, but not from embarrassment.

"Kouga!! Don't you remember me? It's Kagome! Ka-go-me!"

His face didn't show any hint of recognition.

"I don't know anyone named Kagome! Why don't you get out of here before I shoot you myself!"

Kagome could have dropped dead that very moment, but she found the strength to stay upright.

Through clenched teeth and blurry eyes, she murmured "I'm very sorry to have bothered you then."

And with that, she ran off.

* * *

"Why did you have yell at her like that? Not to mention threaten her!!! Maybe she was lost or something!! Jeez Kouga, she didn't _look_ dangerous!"

Kouga sat slumped next to Shippo on a ratty couch.

"Those are the one's that'll do the most damage, you should know that."

Shippo's eyes bugged out of his head. "Oh come on!! You don't even know who she is!"

Kouga felt very miserable, though he didn't know why. He sighed.

"Shippo, you don't understand. Even since before I found you, enemies have been trying to sneak in and take over everything that we've accomplished."

Shippo's spluttering finally died down. He looked wistfully out through a slit in the boarded window. "But she was _pretty_..."

Kouga waved his hand. "And there's a million others just like her out there."

* * *

She finally snapped. After "bidding" Kouga goodbye, she started to cry, and as she cried, she ran. She ran blindly through the streets, tears blurring her vision.

Morbidly she thought, "Maybe I'll run off a bridge..."

As her energy waned, she slowed down and slid into a dark alley where she could cry properly.

All the thoughts of Kouga, Shippo, and everyone else she had ever cared for flitted through her mind. There was no one left!

'HOW could it have turned out this way??' Kouga really did hate her! He loathed her so furiously that he pretended she had never existed. Well there really was nothing worse now was there?

No friends, no family, no life.

With the last remnant of family she had cruelly ripped from her, she had no purpose.

Every good cry has phases. Kagome was finally moving away from the "get it all out as hard as you can" phase, and was finally starting to quiet down.

She wiped her puffy eyes repeatedly, and clapped her hands over them. Her head seemed to weigh a good hundred pounds, and lacking the energy to do anything else, she rested her head in hands, with the weight of a thousands sorrows settling on her shoulders.

A good deal later, she took a deep shuddering breath and opened her eyes.

And instantly, the fiercest scowl overpowered her features.

"How long have YOU been here??!!!"

The false Shippo was perched on a garbage can across the alley from her, not six feet away. Apparently, he had been patiently awaiting the end of her episode. He winced at her overzealously angry tone.

"As long as you."

Ohh!! That really got Kagome's goat! (baabaa! Kid or Granny, take your pick)

She directed all her anger and sorrow now at this one little being. "Can't a girl weep in private??!!"

He gave her a soft look. "There is no shame in letting your heart speak"

But she shook her head, and refused to hear condolences. "Well then, I'm surprised you're not deaf, for all the agony my heart has been screaming lately!!"

In an instant she was on her feet.

"This sucks ass!! I just can't be happy can I? How am I supposed to do good deeds if I can't even find solace for my own misery?"

The false Shippo took but a second to answer, and with a ghost of a smile on his face, he said softly, "Your misery will find solace when others find solace in your good deeds."

She absolutely wanted to scream at him.

"And what about Kouga and the others? Now they hate me, and want to kill me!!"

She felt a little guilty blaming the recipient of her shouting for her past misfortune, because after all, it really wasn't his fault. If anything, she should thank him for giving her another chance at life.

Well hold on a second! Why should she be thankful if this life is just as shitty as the one before it? And now that she was never to return to Kouga on pain of death, this life is even more shitty than the last one! Yeah! What a bastard!

At that thought, her neck was dragged down. She glanced at the jewel in frustration. 'And now, I've got a new pile of shit to clean up!'

The boy with green eyes fixed her with a knowing glance. "You know, how can they hate you when they don't know who you are?"

Kagome nearly exploded. "What do you mean they don't know who..."

But she trailed off as that statement sunk into her grumpy head.

She widened her eyes at him.

"But that means..."

He leaned forward, and waited.

"That means I'm going to have to..."

"Do it all over again." They said in unison.

She staggered as the weight of those words hit her like a bagful of Uzis. (she liked pistols or magnums better, but lets not be fussy)

His smile grew as he saw her brighten (or as close as her face would get to being bright).

"That means I really DO have a second chance! Fuckin' A!!"

He furrowed his brow at her word choice, but was at least relieved she had figured out.

Kagome stared at him thoughtfully, trying to pry into his brain for how she was supposed to complete this silly mission of hers. He seemed to sense this, and laughed lightly.

"I'm not allowed to tell you what to do, but I can give you a suggestion. Maybe you should go get a _fresh start_." He emphasized the last two words with eyebrow wriggles.

"A fresh start?"

She tapped her chin thoughtfully, but snapped out of her train of thought when she noticed the image of Shippo was fading.

"Wait wait! What do you really look like, and what's your real name?"

He came back into focus, laughing.

Waving his arms in a grandiose fashion, he disappeared behind a cloud of smoke.

Kagome rolled her eyes.

As the smoke cleared, a dark-haired, tall, young-looking man dressed in black (her favorite color!) and purple (ew!) robes smiled back at her.

"I was once known as Miroku, so if you wish to call me by that name, you may."

Right about now (the funk's yo brutha..hehe just kidding), Kagome was taken aback, and very confused.

"Miroku" cleared the distance between the two with a few steps, and took her hand in his.

"And with this, my dear Kagome, I bid you Adieu."

He brought her hand up to his face with a mischievous look in his eyes, and lightly brushed his lips across it. And before she could slap him across the face, which she surely would have done, he vanished.

Kagome stood by herself, in the middle of a dark alley, thoroughly bewildered.

She tilted her head and shook her fist at the heavens.

"You guys are crazy!!"

After that statement, she stepped out of the chill darkness, and onto the warm sidewalk.

Maybe she would take this whole thing seriously after all.

* * *

Muahahahaha! How about them apples?

So what do you think? Love it? Tell your friends! Hate it? Want to throw poop at me? (I certainly hope not). Tell me what you think, along with questions, suggestions, or anything else you want to add.

Oh, and I promise, promise, promise that I know where this story is going, and I'll get started writing it once I get some juicy reviews.

Hoo-ah!


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